NXT Facebook!
by The Swooce
Summary: You've seen the main roster on Facebook, but what about NXT? NXT Alumni and current NXT stars on facebook! Contains Roman bashing, Asuka godding, and idiocy.
1. WHO KEEPS STEALING THE PAPER TOWELS!

**Finn Balor** is friends with **Sami Zayn, Bayley, Kevin Owens, and 67 others.**

 **Finn Balor -** Anyone want to head to the beach for fun?

 **Sasha Banks -** That'd be awesome, but make sure Kevin or Baron don't go.

 **Finn Balor -** I understand Owens, but why Baron?

 **Kevin Owens -** 1\. Sasha I would hit you if you were a guy, and 2. Have you seen Corbin's belly button?

 **Apollo Crews -** Me and Kalisto fought Corbin many times, that thing's more weird to look at than Mojo's Hyperdrive.

 **Baron Corbin -** Tch, you guys are jackasses.

 **Finn Balor -** OMG, I'm sorry Corbin! Still come please?

 **Baron Corbin -** Even if you haven't said that stuff about my bellybutton, I still wouldn't have.

 **Sasha Banks -** Because you're the "lone wolf"?

 **Baron Corbin -** No, because I hate you all.

* * *

 **Bayley -** Who wants hugs?!

 _Finn Balor, Apollo Crews, and the whole world likes this._

 **Tye Dillinger -** Who wants to do the "ten" chant at Royal Rumble 2017?!

 _Tye Dillinger, Finn Balor, and the majority of the world likes this._

 **Roman Reigns -** Who wants me in the Royal Rumble?!

 _Roman Reigns likes this._

 **Finn Balor** \- Dislike.

 **Samoa Joe -** ULTIMATE DISLIKE.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** I swear to fucking god if you enter.

 **Seth Rollins -** Roman, you're my pal, but if you enter over Kenny Omega, I'll hit you with another chair like I did when I bought in.

 **SHIELD4EVER1123 -** SELLOUT!

 **Seth Rollins -** I think that's the best decision I ever made. I mean, I won Money in the Bank, made a cash-in that gives Edge's first one a run for his money (no pun intended), and won the world title.

 **Dean Ambrose -** Don't forget you lost that title due to injury, came back to hold the title for only two minutes before I cashed in on your ass, lost to Finn Balor over the fruit roll-up championship, got betrayed by Nipple H, and had a shitty face turn that stemmed from "WHAA, TRIPLE H DOESN'T LIKE ME ANYMORE!"

 _Kevin Owens, Triple H, and 63 others like this._

* * *

 **Sami Zayn -** Finn, would you be mad if I stole your face-paint?

 **Finn Balor -** Obviously!

 **Sami Zayn -** And sold it?

 **Finn Balor -** May I ask who you sold it to?

 _Asuka likes this._

 **Sami Zayn -** I sold it to the person who liked your comment.

 **Finn Balor -**...I can get it back.

 **Sami Zayn -** I wouldn't recommend going up against the person who made Chode-man Reigns, Braun Strowman, Big Show, Baron Corbin, Brock Lesnar, Goldberg, and The Undertaker tap out. AT THE SAME TIME.

 _Asuka likes this._

 **Finn Balor -** Ok, I'll buy a new one.

 **Asuka -** Good choice.

* * *

 **Becky Lynch posted a photo**

 **Becky Lynch -** WHO KEEPS STEALING ALL THE PAPER TOWELS?!

 **Wesley Blake -** I know! I haven't seen a paper towel in days!

 **Bobby Roode -** This isn't glorious!

 _Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa like this._

 **Austin Aries -** I'm going to ignore the fact Roode said glorious and DIY liked this.

 **Hideo Itami -** I think I have a guess on who stole the paper towels.

 **Buddy Murphy -** Who?!

 **Hideo Itami -** Think about it, how did we all dry our hands?

 **Dana Brooke -** I don't understand.

 **Eva Marie -** I don't understand either.

 **Adrian Neville -** You don't understand wrestling.

 _Eva Marie likes this._

 **Adrian Neville -** Why did you like this?

 **Eva Marie -** It was about Dana was it not?

 **Adrian Neville -** It was about you, you imbecile.

 **Elias Samson -** Mind if I play a tune?

 **No Way Jose -** Can I hold a rave?

 **Becky Lynch -** WHEN DID THIS TURN FROM A CONVERSATION ASKING WHO KEEPS TAKING THE PAPER TOWELS TO A EVA MARIE ROAST AND A MUSIC THING?!

 **Hideo Itami -** I'll just end it, ITS FUCKING TYE.

 _Tye Dillinger likes this._

* * *

 **Wow, it's been a while...I'm sorry I took so long. I was handling an extremely personal issue. That involves death and abuse.**

 **I'm glad to be back either way, and why not start with some humor?**

 **By the way, yes, there will be a few mentions of the main roster guys like Triple H and Brock Lesnar like you saw in this chapter.**

 **I hope you enjoyed and gimme some ideas for other conversations!**


	2. 5 Word Stories, Ships Galore, & GLORIOUS

**Elias Samson -** WHY DOES NO ONE LIKE MY MUSIC?!

 _Finn Balor, Sami Zayn, and 12 others like this._

 **Tyler Breeze -** Pft, music's for wussies.

 **Elias Samson -** I doubt your gimmick is much better. I mean, fashion police?!

 **Tyler Breeze -** You're a drifter, why not drift away from NXT.

 **Elias Samson -** You should drift away from WWE.

 **Sami Zayn -** Hey Elias, I know how you can get the chicks.

 **Elias Samson -** HOW?!

 **Sami Zayn -** You have to find a fairy and have her turn you into a credit card.

 _Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch, Bayley, Nia Jax, and a lot of women like this._

* * *

 **Alexa Bliss -** Anyone want to play the five-word story game? I'll start: Once upon a time,

 **Finn Balor -** There was a fantastic wrestler.

 **Sami Zayn -** He won many championships.

 **Oney Lorcan -** And was loved by all.

 **Roman Reigns -** His name was Roman Reigns!

 **Austin Aries -** However one day.

 **Hideo Itami -** An even better wrestler

 **Kevin Owens -** Beat him many times.

 **Andrade Almas -** Reigns got crippling depression.

 **Sasha Banks -** He cried all night.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** He wanted one more match.

 **Seth Rollins -** That was for the championship.

 **Vince McMahon -** AND HE WON! ROMAN ALWAYS WINS!

 **Adrian Neville -** We ignored the above comment.

 **Johnny Gargano -** Because it had six words.

 **Tommaso Ciampa -** Roman lost again.

 **Bobby Roode -** And cried like a bitch.

 **Bayley -** And killed himself that night.

 _Finn Balor, Sami Zayn, and quite a number of people like this._

 **Charlotte Flair -** Jesus Christ Bayley!

 **Baron Corbin -** That's cold even for me.

 **Vince McMahon -** BAYLEY! I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU JOB TO EVA MARIE!

 **Triple H -** AWW HELL NAH!

* * *

 _Sasha Banks has invited Alexa Bliss, Nia Jax, Bayley, Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, Asuka, Ember Moon, Eva Marie, Liv Morgan, Billie Kay, Peyton Royce, Paige, Emma, and Summer Rae to a group chat._

 **Sasha Banks -** Girls, who's the cutest guy online?

 **Alexa Bliss -** I have one, Buddy Murphy.

 **Sasha Banks -** Of course you would choose your boyfriend.

 **Nia Jax -** I don't like anyone.

 _Nia Jax has left the chat._

 **Charlotte Flair -** I like Tye Dillinger. He is a perfect ten.

 **Becky Lynch -** I'm going Roderick Strong.

 **Ember Moon -** Apollo Crews, his abs are awesome.

 **Liv Morgan -** I'm gonna have to agree with you Ember.

 **Billie Kay -** I like Chad Gable.

 **Peyton Royce -** Jason Jordan.

 **Billie Kay -** REALLY?! THE SHELTON BENJAMIN WANNA BE?!

 **Peyton Royce -** Better than the weak-link of the two!

 **Billie Kay -** My house, we're going to see who's the hotter.

 _Billie Kay and Peyton Royce have left the chat._

 **Paige -** You already know I'm with Alberto.

 **Emma -** I have Zack Ryder.

 **Summer Rae -** Sami Zayn.

 _Dana Brooke has joined the chat_

 **Dana Brooke -** Adrian Neville.

 **Becky Lynch -** Where the fuck did you come from?

 _Nia Jax has joined the chat_

 **Nia Jax -** Big Cass.

 **Carmella -** YOU FAT BITCH! HE'S MINE! ALL MINE!

 **Becky Lynch -** AND WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!

 **Bayley -** I'm just gonna ignore this and say Finn Balor.

 **Eva Marie -** Randy Savage!

 **Sasha Banks -** I choose Finn Balor and Eva, you're a fucking idiot.

 **Asuka -** Shinsuke.

* * *

 **Bobby Roode -** Johnny and Tommaso are following me around.

 _Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa like this._

 **Johnny Gargano -** GLORIOUS!

 **Tommaso Ciampa -** THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE AND THIS SONG IS GOD!

 **Scott Dawson -** You both are damn idiots.

 **Dash Wilder -** You're both fucking tools.

 **Bobby Roode -** WILL YOU SCREW OFF YOU FOOLS?!

 _Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa like this._

* * *

 **Johnny Gargano has posted a video:**

 _Tommaso Ciampa, No Way Jose, and 92 other people like this._

 **Bobby Roode -** I HATE YOU TWO PRICKS!

 **Tommaso Ciampa -** We love you.

 **Kalisto -** May I ask what happened?

 **Johnny Gargano -** When James Storm was around briefly, he told us that Roode's biggest fear was spiders. So we snuck one into his wrestling trunks.

 **Bobby Roode -** DAMMIT STORM! GOD DAMMIT I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO FUCKING KICK HIM!

 **Apollo Crews -** Where may I ask?

 **Bobby Roode -** ANYWHERE. AND IM GOING TO SHOVE MY BOOTS SO FAR UP GARGANO'S AND CIAMPA'S ASSES THEY'RE GOING TO BE MY NEW SHOES!

 **Johnny Gargano -** …

 **Tommaso Ciampa -** …

 **Apollo Crews -** …

 **Kalisto -** …

 **Bo Dallas -** Are we going to ignore the fact that Bobby's girly scream was GLORIOUS?!

 **Bobby Roode -** BO I AM GOING TO HIT YOU WITH A CROCODILE!

 **Bo Dallas -** A GLORIOUS one?

 **Bobby Roode -** I'm at your door right now with an axe. Run bitch.

 _Bobby Roode is offline_

 _Bo Dallas is offline_

 **Johnny Gargano -** Should we call the cops?

 **Tommaso Ciampa -** I see them right now, Bo's screaming like a baby while Roode's chasing him with a pimp cane.

* * *

 **Big Cass has posted a photo with Enzo Amore and Carmella.**

 **Big Cass -** How you doin Finn?!

 **Finn Balor -** I'm fine, just building with legos with Sami.

 **Sami Zayn -** For the record, we're not building a dick!

 **Kevin Owens -** Really? I'm surprised considered you two being buddy-buddy so much.

 **Sami Zayn -** Says the one who built a dick out of Jericho's lists.

 **Chris Jericho -** KEVIN! YOU SAID IT WAS ZAYN WHO DID THAT!

 **Kevin Owens -** Oops…

 **Big Cass -** Umm...can you guys have this conversation on your own page?

* * *

 **Chris Jericho has made an event: FESTIVAL OF FRIENDSHIP!**

 **Chris Jericho -** Bring a gift!

 **Kevin Owens -** I got the perfect gift for you.

 _Chris Jericho likes this_

 **Sami Zayn -** I saw the gift Owens got you Jericho. I'm not spoiling it, but let's say I told you so.

 _Kevin Owens likes this._


	3. Pickup lines, Facebook Family, & ROASTED

**Dean Ambrose -** Mania's coming up, I need ideas for a cool entrance.

 **Tye Dillinger -** PERFECT TEN!

 **Dean Ambrose -** No, fuck you.

 **Baron Corbin -** A loser sign.

 **Dean Ambrose -** Go to hell.

 **Bayley -** HUGS!

 **Dean Ambrose -** OMFG NO!

 **Tye Dillinger -** OH! YOU DON'T TELL HER TO SCREW OFF, BUT YOU TELL US?!

 **Baron Corbin -** I really don't care either way.

 **Austin Aries -** Why not go as Negan?

 **Dean Ambrose -** Why Negan?

 **Austin Aries -** Mania 32 was the same night as the season finale of Walking Dead season six.

 **Dean Ambrose -** Oh yeah...I'd love to go Negan-mode on Baron. And many others.

 **Tye Dillinger -** Like?

 **Dean Ambrose -** You for starting those ten chants during non-NXT events.

* * *

 **Alexa Bliss -** Looking to start a facebook family!

 **Buddy Murphy -** I'm husband!

 **Bo Dallas -** NO ME!

 **Bobby Roode -** IM GLORIOUS!

 _Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa like this._

 **Aiden English -** Make me a sandwich.

 **Simon Gotch -** Me too!

 **Alexa Bliss -** You keep making sexist comments and I'll make you a knuckle sandwich.

 **Aiden English -**?

 **Alexa Bliss -** IT MEANS IM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN YOUR GODDAMN FACE!

 **Aiden English -** …

 **Simon Gotch -** …

 **Buddy Murphy -** So how bout that facebook family?

* * *

 **Alexa Bliss -** It's weird how much facebook allows you to whore around. I got Buddy, Wesley, Finn, Sami, Kevin, Tye, and Bobby all as my husband.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Whoring around is something you should be used to ;).

 _Finn Balor, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens and 892 people like this._

 **Finn Balor -** ROASTED.

 **Sami Zayn -** Alexa, you got roasted!

 **Tye Dillinger -** Here's a list of burn centers in US.

 **Alexa Bliss -** FML.

* * *

 **Tyler Breeze -** I'm going to try and get some women, gimme pick-up lines!

 **Sami Zayn** \- Are you a potato, cause I'd eat you out.

 **Finn Balor -** How much does it cost to date you? Because you look expensive!

 **Hideo Itami -** Are you the SAT? Cause I'd do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes...with a ten minute break inbetween for snacks.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** What would you rather have from me? A. A nice date. B. Meaningful, intelligent conversations. Or C. Multiple orgasms.

 **Tyler Breeze -** What about D?

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** You want the D?!

 _Sami Zayn, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, and 953 people like this._

 **Tyler Breeze -** OH GOD NO.

 **Kevin Owens -** Is your dad retarded, because you're special.

 **Tyler Breeze -** Little much Kevin…

* * *

 **Tyler Breeze -** I DO NOT WANT SHINSUKE'S DICK!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** I never said dick. You want my dragon?

 **Tyler Breeze -** Dragon? I'd like a dragon. I can get a push!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Get over here and I'll give you one hell of a pushing!

 **Tyler Breeze -** ALRIGHT! I'M GETTING A DRAGON!

 _Tyler Breeze is offline_

 **Roderick Strong -** Breeze, you fucked up.

 **Roderick Strong -** BTW, I used Shinsuke's pick-up line and I just banged Sasha. Thanks Shinsuke.

* * *

 **Tyler Breeze -** OH GOD NOT THAT DRAGON!

 **Austin Aries -** Have you not heard of innuendos?

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** I'm innu-en-do you.

 **Tyler Breeze -** STOP! D;

* * *

 **Apollo Crews -** Bored, ask me a question and I'll answer it.

 **Finn Balor -** Why is abbreviated such a long word?

 **Sami Zayn -** Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of a bottle?

 **Tye Dillinger -** Why can't I get called up?

 **Hideo Itami -** What existed before the big bang?

 **Kalisto -** Can you cry underwater?

 **Becky Lynch -** Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 **Eva Marie -** Do the alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 **Nia Jax -** Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

 **Bobby Roode -** WHY HASN'T THE GLORIOUS MEME DIED OUT?

 _Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa like this_

 **Eric Young -** WhY DoEsN'T AnYoNE PAy ATTentION TO mE?!

 **Roman Reigns -** WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE ME!

 **Baron Corbin -** Why do people keep asking dumb questions?

 **Apollo Crews -** Nevermind…

* * *

 **Tyler Breeze** has posted a photo and tagged Kevin Owens.

 **Tyler Breeze -** I tried out your line and literally felt my balls break.

 **Kevin Owens -** Who did you try it on?

 **Tyler Breeze -** Asuka.

 **Kevin Owens -** You idiot.


	4. ASUKA STOP HITTING PEOPLE WITH KEYBOARDS

**Hideo Itami -** Still chilling out here in my hotel.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** When are you coming back?

 **Hideo Itami -** When Sami gives me the key.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -**?

 **Hideo Itami -** I was sharing a hotel with Sami and he decided to lock me in the bathroom. BTW, my phone's almost out of juice, send help.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Alright, which hotel?

 _Hideo Itami is now offline_

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** R.I.P Itami.

* * *

 _Roman Reigns has invited John Cena, The Great Khali, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, The Big Show, and Nikki Bella to chat._

 **Roman Reigns -** I had enough of those NXT guys thinking they're better than us!

 **John Cena -** Why did you invite us?

 **Roman Reigns -** I WANT TO DESTROY THEM!

 **Alicia Fox -** Uh...I like them.

 _Alicia Fox has been kicked from the chat._

 **The Big Show -** I think I'm going too.

 **John Cena -** Me too.

 _John Cena, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, and the Big Show have been kicked from chat._

 **The Great Khali -** I don't even work for WWE now.

 _The Great Khali has left the chat._

 **Roman Reigns -** WHY DOES EVERYBODY LOVE NXT?!

* * *

 **Vince McMahon has tagged The Entire NXT Roster and its alumni.**

 **Vince McMahon -** Tonight, you all will face Roman Reigns in a handicap match. He must win to be strong…

 **Finn Balor -** Hell no.

 **Sami Zayn -** I'm not jobbing!

 **Vince McMahon -** DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED!

 **Sami Zayn -** I think I want to be.

 _Finn Balor, Bayley, and 70 others like this._

* * *

 **FACEBOOK NEWS -** Over 70 NXT talent quit WWE!

* * *

 **Finn Balor -** I got an idea everyone!

 **Sami Zayn -** And that would be?

 **Finn Balor -** JOIN ANOTHER COMPANY!

 _Dixie Carter likes this._

 **Finn Balor -** No, not you.

 **Bayley -** OOH! WHAT ABOUT LUCHA UNDERGROUND?!

 _Dario Cueto likes this_

 **Finn Balor -** I like that Bayley!

 _Bayley likes this._

* * *

 **FACEBOOK NEWS -** 70 NXT STARS SIGNED TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND!

 _Finn Balor, Sami Zayn, Dario Cueto, and 649 others like this._

* * *

 **Sami Zayn is now friends with Angelico, Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans, PJ Black, and 25 others.**

 **Sami Zayn -** HEY GUYS!

 **PJ Black -** Hello Mr. Samuel Zayn.

 **Sami Zayn -** What's with the attitude?

 **PJ Black -** I just feel like it.

 **Johnny Mundo -** I spiked his drink.

 **PJ Black -** DAMMIT MUNDO!

 **Jack Evans -** He also put a bug in your drink.

 **PJ Black -** YOU FUCKER!

 **Angelico -** You guys are idiots.

* * *

 **Finn Balor is now in a relationship with Bayley**

 _3,961,358 people like this_

 **Sami Zayn -** IT'S ABOUT TIME!

 **BAYLOR4LYFE -** MY SHIP HAS SAILED!

 **Aaron Solow -** :(

 **Elias Samson -** HOW DID FINN GET A GIRL BEFORE ME?!

 **Finn Balor -** Maybe if you spent more time talking with women than your guitar maybe you would've had one by now.

* * *

 **Tyler Breeze has changed his relationship status to "It's Complicated"**

 **Tye Dillinger -** Trying to decide between hands?

 **Tyler Breeze -** F You.

 **Tye Dillinger -** No thanks, I know you're wanting Shinsuke.

 _Shinsuke Nakamura likes this._

 **Tyler Breeze -** NO!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** YES!

 **Tyler Breeze -** NO!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** YES!

 **Tyler Breeze -** NO!

 **Daniel Bryan -** YES!

 **Tyler Breeze -** YES!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** WTF?!

 **Tyler Breeze -** FUCK!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** You know I was kidding. I have Asuka.

 **Austin Aries -** Asuka? Really? Won't she tear your chest off?

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** She will if I get her angry.

 **Roman Reigns -** WHAT A WOMAN GONNA DO?!

 _Asuka likes this_

 **Austin Aries -** You done fucked up.

* * *

 **Roman Reigns -** I insulted Asuka, but that's ok, she doesn't know I'm here. If she's here, she'll most likely drag my face across the keyboard. However, I'm Roman Reigns, I am hjasdfhljlkqefwbjkbfasdhkfh;f;hwqhefbksdj;fhvh;lasdhif;iowefbasdbj;fh;asdh;ioyfw;gjerbfsadh;fihywq;bjefbasj;dh;vfayisodf;jwebjfh;klsadvihopasb;kjvsk;laf'pjqweuopfqghwfh;ads;klhvh'asdghi;;bklhklwefhqwhkl;vhlk;asdghkl;ashk;ldgkhlwqebl;fh;asdh;vask;ldf

 _Asuka, Finn Balor, and 873 others like this._

 **Enzo Amore -** Roman ain't strong, he's S-A-W-F-T! SAWFThvhgzdfxcfghjkljhlhdfsghjkhdfszcghjklhdfszfghjkhgfkjlhdfxfghjkhdfxghjklhgfkjlhgfjkhdfsghjkhdfghjkdfghjdfsghjdgfsghjkdfsghjkjhmbgfvqwreafdasghgasgaf

 **Elias Samson -** Ha!

* * *

 **Elias Samson has created an event: Drift party at iuytfrdesweqrflu;ufdsgzdfgyu'yi;ldshazgstyitudrjshadsdftuyilugtfkdjshdtuyugtfdjhhjgfdjxjfyiu;hyluguksdkrewjskdlrewqiwksdlf;gutroeskxclhvgjufrdkgcvlgfkcjlbjgofvlhbjgpl,mxjsrhaehdzgnfxhflrydkthgc,vhgf**

 _Asuka likes this_

 **Enzo Amore -** LOL

 **Tyler Breeze -** Meh, not really funny.

 **Baron Corbin -** For the first time, I agree.

 **Tyler Breeze -** I know, Ifjgtdhgfgyiuo;iytfdfjlkjhsjrewqwerty8oiuyfdfghiuyfdsdtyuytresasdfghjgvcvbnbvbnmcxfytresarewqwertyuiuytyuiopoiuyfdsfghjjhgfcxcghjuytrdesrtytfrdfghjjhgfdfghjhgcvghjhgfcghj

 **Baron Corbin -** STOP SMASHING PEOPLE'S FACE ON [ptortrieirosjarhsdfluhdmgxfgjcf,hmxgcfgfdjsdftrydjtsdfbsdfbfadfhdfshb,jcbnasdfqrwriulgkuglkjv,;iupoiufiyro

 _Shinsuke Nakamura likes this_

 **Vince McMahon -** DAMMIT! IF YOU WERE HERE, I'D HAVE YOU JOB TO EVA MARIE!

 **Asuka -** …

 **Vince McMahon -** bkjsfshlgkqwehiasvbjkqwefqoihpsdabjklvbn,aijowqjpoehjqwerhjkgbjasbjfqfhwiopfndsbjlkvsdahsfdjl;eipopoiqwpebjrblasbfjahkklj;lkhsdhkh;agh;lhaslg;hkl;asgdhkl;gh;lqh;ehoph;avblzvbbvbv

 _Asuka, Shinsuke Nakamura, and 719 others like this._


	5. Ohno Returns, Vote Rigs & Dumb Questions

**Kassius Ohno is now friends with FInn Balor, Tye Dillinger, Cesaro, and 93 others.**

 **Kassius Ohno -** SECOND CHANCE HERE I COME!

 _Cesaro, Sami Zayn, and 611 others like this._

 **Elias Samson -** Pft, you didn't even last in your first chance when you were thin, what makes you think you'll last if you're fat?!

 **Kassius Ohno -** I can name a number of "fat" wrestlers who made it big.

 **Elias Samson -** Like? Name 10.

 **Kassius Ohno -** Kevin Owens.

 **Finn Balor -** Samoa Joe.

 **Sami Zayn -** Big Show.

 **Seth Rollins -** Mark Henry.

 **Baron Corbin -** Andre the Giant.

 **Mojo Rawley -** Yokozuna.

 **Tye Dillinger -** Vader.

 **Erick Rowan -** Bray Wyatt.

 **Sasha Banks -** Nia Jax.

 **Rusev -** I'M NOT FAT!

 **Sasha Banks -** Funny that you thought this comment was going to be about you.

 **Rusev -** YOU EDITED YOUR COMMENT!

 **Lana -** Stupid Sasha. You and your American edits.

 **Finn Balor -** Has it ever occurred to you that you are American.

 **Sami Zayn -** SHE'S A RUSSABOO!

 **Lana -** Americans…

* * *

 **Austin Aries -** Holding a tournament on Challonge!

 _Sami Zayn, Finn Balor, and 269 others like this._

 **Sami Zayn -** May I ask what's it about?

 **Austin Aries -** BEST NXT STAR!

 **Enzo Amore -** HOW MANY?!

 **Austin Aries -** 96.

 **Becky Lynch -** Little steep don't you think?

 **Austin Aries -** I already finished the first round.

 **Sami Zayn -** WELL READ THEM OUT!

* * *

 **Austin Aries -** Moving on are as follows: Finn Balor, Enzo Amore, Samoa Joe, Sami Zayn, Becky Lynch, Dana Brooke, Shinsuke Nakamura, Bray Wyatt, Kevin Owens, Asuka, Xavier Woods, Big Cass, Rusev, Nia Jax, Jason Jordan, Eric Young, Tye Dillinger, Andrade Almas, Hideo Itami, Kalisto, Bobby Roode, Roderick Strong, Peyton Royce, Killian Dain, Carmella, No Way Jose, Seth Rollins, Emma, Kassius Ohno, and Elias Samson.

 _Finn Balor, Kalisto, Jason Jordan and 32 others like this._

 **Austin Aries -** Oh, and Roman Reigns.

 _Vince McMahon and Roman Reigns likes this._

 **Jason Jordan -** I can already guess how he got far.

 **Vince McMahon -** THE MILLIONS AND MILLIONS VOTED FOR HIM! HE'S OVER!

 **Chad Gable -** I just talked to Styles, apparently if the roster didn't vote for Reigns, he was going to put Eva Marie as women's champion and Michael Cole as WWE Champion.

 **Vince McMahon -** DAMMIT GABLE! YOU'RE AN EMBARRASSMENT!

 **Luke Harper -** Says the one who got all pissy when Linda talked about WWE in a negative light and made "Stand up for WWE".

* * *

 **Apollo Crews -** Bored again, ask me questions, and hopefully not stupid ones..

 **Oney Lorcan -** How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

 **Killan Dain -** Do midgets have night vision?

 **No Way Jose -** Is the term Weeaboo poorly used?

 **Eva Marie -** Am I the greatest wrestler?

 **Adrian Neville -** Is this woman joking?

 **Tyler Breeze -** Am I indeed prince pretty?!

 **Elias Samson -** Is my music great?!

 **Aiden English -** WILL SOME WOMAN MAKE ME A SANDWICH?!

 **Apollo Crews -** nvm.


	6. God-Suka, Roman Lies, and Smarks

**Konnor -** CAN WE GET A PUSH YET?!

 _Viktor, Finn Balor, and 57 others like this._

 **Tye Dillinger -** CAN I GO ON THE MAIN ROSTER YET?!

 _Mojo Rawley, Apollo Crews, and 731 others like this._

 **Aiden English -** WILL SOME BITCH MAKE ME A SANDWICH!

 _Simon Gotch and 12 others like this._

 **Asuka -** WHO WANTS TO SEE ME BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ENGLISH?

 _No Way Jose, Andrade Almas, and 6,531 others like this._

 **Roman Reigns -** WHO WANTS TO SEE ME BEAT UNDERTAKER AT MANIA?!

 _Vince McMahon likes this._

 **Vince McMahon -** DAMMIT! ONLY ME?!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Because Roman has the talent and charisma of breadfruit.

 **Vince McMahon -**?

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Breadfruit looks good, but tastes like crap.

 _Asuka, Sami Zayn, and the whole world likes this._

 **Vince McMahon -** ROMAN IS GREAT! ROMAN IS GOD! ROMAN IS-

 **Asuka -** A lie.

 **VInce McMahon -** HOW THE FUCK DID YOU CUT ME-

 **Asuka -** Because I'm Asuka. Bitch.

 _Shinsuke Nakamura, Tye Dillinger, and the whole universe likes this._

* * *

 **Asuka has created a page: Asuka Facts.**

 **Curt Hawkins -** YOU STOLE MY GIMMICK!

 **Asuka -** Nah, I only claimed it.

 **Curt Hawkins -** *Cries* My gimmick…

* * *

 **Finn Balor -** Asuka doesn't sleep, she waits.

 **Sami Zayn -** Asuka once heard that nothing can kill her, so she tracked down nothing and killed it.

 **Tye Dillinger -** Asuka counted to infinity, three times!

 **Mojo Rawley -** Asuka once beat Sonic, Roadrunner, Speedy Gonzales, The Flash, and Dash from the incredibles in a race with one foot tied behind her back.

 **Tyler Breeze -** Asuka won a dog show with a cat.

 **Kevin Owens -** Asuka made John Cena, Triple H, The Undertaker, The Rock, Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan, Big Show, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, and Batista tap out. At the same time.

 **Sami Zayn -** I made a comment similar to that…

 **Apollo Crews -** Asuka can win a snowboard race with a soccer ball…

 **Asuka -** Good lord, I like all these. But my favorite's gotta be Mojo's.

 **Mojo Rawley -** YES!

 **Asuka -** Breeze's was a close second.

 **Kevin Owens -** And the others?

 **Asuka -** Taken from the internet.

 **Finn Balor -** Asuka can literally face paint.

 **Asuka -** Damn right, I made the Mona Lisa.

 **Roman Reigns -** I LIKE THIS IDEA!

* * *

 **Roman Reigns has made a page: ROMAN REIGNS FACTS!**

 **Vince McMahon -** Roman is the greatest of all time!

 **Johnny Gargano -** The above comment is a lie.

 _Tommaso Ciampa likes this._

 **Sami Zayn -** Elias's guitar is more talented than Reigns.

 **Kevin Owens -** A piece of paper gets better pops than Reigns.

 **Eva Marie -** Reigns will beat Undertaker at Mania.

 _Vince McMahon likes this._

 **Finn Balor -** There will be a number of boos.

 _Eric Young, Samoa Joe, and 52,134 people like this._

* * *

 **Chad Gable -** So I just got called by Peyton, and she wants to date me.

 **Jason Jordan -** I got called by Billie.

 **Roderick Strong -** I did Sasha.

 _792,412 people like this._

 **SashaFan532 -** LUCKY!

 **SashaBaenks -** I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE!

 **Roderick Strong -** Well, there's no way then.

 **IHATESTRONG -** YOU HAVE A TINY DICK! SHINSUKE'S IS BIGGER!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** While that may be true, I highly doubt yours is any bigger.

 **IHATESTRONG -** HOW DO YOU KNOW SHITSTAIN!?

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** I can already judge due to the fact you're probably some dumb fat kid who rather than work out, steal his mom's credit card to watch porn.

 **IHATESTRONG -** SO WHAT?! MY DICK IS STILL BIGGER! AND ALL DIVAS TRYIN TO SUCK THIS BIG DICK!

 **Asuka -** Your dick isn't big.

 **IHATESTRONG -** HOW DOHKGVAJSFHIGGAKFHQHJJGBNVHJYOSYUGKJDBLJQWHFHIPAVOLKNHYJUBGTFRKILJHGFDHJKLJUHYDEFSGHJKLJHGFDSFGHJIOPIUYGTFRDGHJKL:OJHGFCDHJKLIHJGVFDGTYUIJHYUGTFD

 _Roderick Strong, Shinsuke Nakamura, and 6,422,312 others like this._

 **IHAVEATINYPENIS -** The name doesn't lie.

 **Chad Gable -** So...double date?

 **Jason Jordan -** Agreed.


	7. Leaks, Avocados, and DISLIKES!

**Xavier Woods -** OOOOH NXT! DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR! CLAP FOR YOUR TWO-TIME CHAMPS AND FEEEEEEEEEEL THE POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Paige felt your power ;)

 **Paige -** FML.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** BTW, don't use an avocado.

 **Paige -** IT WASN'T AN AVOCADO!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Did Del Rio eat it?

 **Kalisto -** Ew.

* * *

 **Angelo Dawkins -** Is it me or does nobody have manors these days?

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** I just have a regular house…

 **Angelo Dawkins -** RUDE!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** I can't really be offended by a guy who never won a single match.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** Oh, and can't spell manners.

 **Angelo Dawkins -** U GOT NO MANORS

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** I know English and Japanese, but I don't know moron.

* * *

 **Xavier Woods -** Ok, I see the comments on YouTube, we all get it, can you stop?!

 **Finn Balor -** Yeah, people got rights to privacy.

 **Elias Samson -** Those photos were pretty hot…

 _Tyler Breeze and 173 others like this_

 **Tyler Breeze -** They were indeed!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura -** The one with Xavier? Because I wouldn't be surprised.

 _Elias Samson, Paige, and 683 others like this_

 **Tyler Breeze -** Shit.

* * *

 **Johnny Gargano -** WHO'S READY FOR ANOTHER #GLORIOUS BOMB?

 _Tommaso Ciampa, Kevin Owens, and 1,992 others like this._

 **Bobby Roode -** You better fucking not.

 **Tommaso Ciampa -** Too late!

 **Bo Dallas -** This is BO-LORIUS!

 _Bo Dallas likes this._

 **Roderick Strong -** Of course you're the only one to like your comment.

 **TheAuthorsOfPain -** Because he's a fool.

 **Roderick Strong -** Hey, when did you get an account Akam?

 **TheAuthorsOfPain -** Actually, this is Rezar, the author put us together because he couldn't tell us apart.

 **Simon Gotch -** YOU SIR HAVE BROKEN THE FOURTH WALL!

 **TheAuthorsOfPain -** You think I care?

 **Roderick Strong -** I think not Rezar.

 **TheAuthorsOfPain -** Actually, it's Akam now.

 **Roderick Strong -** …

* * *

 **Hideo Itami -** Hey PJ, you ever think about coming back to WWE?

 **PJ Black -** I am not going into that goddamn bunny costume again.

 **Adam Rose -** Hey, what was wrong with it? Gimme five reasons.

 **PJ Black -** It's hot as hell, I can't see well, I look like a dumbass, I had to act like a dumbass, and I was forced to wear it.

 **Adam Rose -**...Ok name ten.

* * *

 **Enzo Amore -** DOUBLE DATE WITH CASS, CARMELLA, AND LIV!

 _Big Cass, Carmella, Liv Morgan, and 396 people like this._

 **Killian Dain -** Really? The weasel?

 **Enzo Amore -** Better than dating a walrus!

 **Killian Dain -** Fuck you.

* * *

 **Shane Thorne -** You know, I think we should start just posting random tweets.

 **Nick Miller -** Why?

 **Shane Thorne -** We've appeared once or twice in this whole fucking story.

 **Simon Gotch -** YOU SIR, HAVE JUST BROKE-

 **Asuka -** Shut the fuck up.

 **Shane Thorne -** ASUKA! HOW DID YOU CUT HIM OFF?!

 **Asuka -** Because I'm Asuka.

 **Nick Miller -** I need to know how to do that.

* * *

 **Vince McMahon -** Roman is better than all of NXT, ROH, and NJPW.

 _Asuka, Shinsuke Nakamura, Sami Zayn and 1,000,000,000 people dislike this._

 **Vince McMahon -** THERE'S A DISLIKE BUTTON?!

 **Asuka -** I added that in.

 **Vince McMoron -** BUT HOW?!

 **Asuka -** Because I'm Asuka. BTW, check your name.

 **Vince McDickface -** IM NOT A MORON!

 **Asuka -** And again.

 **Vince McReigns -** AHHHH!

 **Asuka -** And again.

 **Vince McDoucheBag -** Ok, I like this.

 **Asuka -** You like being a douchebag?

 **Vince McDoucheBag -** ASUKAAAAAAA


	8. Hacking, Screwing, and Holding Drinks

**Drew McIntyre** is now friends with **Finn Balor, Sami Zayn, Seth Rollins, and 710 others.**

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Guess who's back from the dead motherfuckers!

 **Aleister Black** \- Me.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- For fucks sake.

 **Aleister Black** \- Meh, either way, let's hope Vincey doesn't fuck you over again.

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- Hey, when have I fucked anyone over?!

 **Shane Thorne** \- 1. You've been doing it since the 2000's, and 2. What's with your name?

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- Whenever I change my name back, Asuka changes it to McDouchebag. I swear, I've made like 20 new passwords and Asuka's always been able to get in.

 **Asuka** \- That's because you make them too obvious.

 **Sami Zayn** \- How do you guess them?

 **Asuka** \- Pretty much all of his passwords contain Roman Reigns.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Good god…

* * *

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- Shane told me I fucked people over, if I did, name a person that I "fucked over".

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Me.

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- Ok, five.

 **Apollo Crews** \- Paul Burchill.

 **Kalisto** \- Damien Sandow.

 **Adam Rose** \- Me.

 **Tyler Breeze** \- Me.

 **Tyson Kidd** \- Justin Gabriel.

 **Vince McMahon** \- Ok, ten.

 **Finn Balor** \- Gail Kim.

 **Sami Zayn** \- Dolph Ziggler.

 **Adrian Neville** \- Cody Rhodes.

 **Chad Gable** \- Kaval.

 **Bo Dallas** \- Me.

 **Seth Rollins** \- Curtis Axel.

 **Luke Harper** \- Alex Riley.

 **Jason Jordan** \- The Vaudevillians.

 **Andrade Almas** \- The Ascension.

 **Kevin Owens** \- Cesaro.

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- OK 15.

 **Asuka** \- Shelton Benjamin, Yoshi Tatsu, Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, Trent Barreta, Jack Swagger, Vance Archer, Wade Barrett, Evan Bourne, John Morrison, Derrick Bateman, Natalya, David Hart Smith, Brodus Clay, MVP, and the list goes on and on…

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- DAMMIT ASUKA YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.

 **Asuka** \- BTW, did you notice I changed your name back for a second?

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- AHHHHH!

* * *

 **Heath Slater** \- Hey Drew, Jinder, what do you say about getting the band back together?

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Hell no, I'm not jobbing again.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- Same.

 **Heath Slater** \- Oh come on, I'll lead us to victory!

 **Jinder Mahal** \- Last time you did that, we jobbed out to Hornswoggle.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- FUCKING HORNSWOGGLE.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- And we got him as a manager to fight a midget cosplaying as a bull while fighting the Condom Cap Crew.

 **Heath Slater** \- Hey, at least I won titles! I'm a four time tag team champion and half of the first Smackdown Tag Team champions!

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Bitch please, I won titles around the world in TNA, EVOLVE, ICW, and I'm the only one out of you pricks to hold a singles title. Who can do better?

 **Jinder Mahal** \- I got an idea, hold my drink.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- What's he doing?

 **Heath Slater** \- He said he's going after the WWE Championship.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Fat chance, Orton's champ, he'll need backup.

 **Harv Sihra** \- DID SOMEONE SAY BACKUP?!

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Still, no way's he gonna do it.

* * *

 **Sami Zayn** \- I can't believe I was so close to winning.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- AH HAHHAHAHAHAHHA EAT A DICK ZAYN!

 **Sami Zayn** \- Fuck you.

 **Gurv Sihra** \- He would've got out of the way anyways.

 **Sami Zayn** \- Yet you distracted me so I lost.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Motherfuck, he actually got the match.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- Keep holding my drink, I'm coming for dat title.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- If you win, I'm smashing the glass over Heath's head.

 **Heath Slater** \- WHY ME?!

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Because you're a dickneedle.

* * *

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- Fatal Five way between Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, Bray Wyatt, Seth Rollins, and my beautiful Roman Reigns. Guess who wins?

 **Heath Slater** \- Roman.

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- How'd you know?

 **Roderick Strong** \- We saw the pictures.

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- I THOUGHT I HID THOSE.

 **Sasha Banks** \- Wow, TMI Vincey.

 **Vince McDouchebag** \- I CAN'T FIND THEM!

 **Asuka** \- I burned them.

 **Vince McAsswipe** \- ASUKA!

 **Asuka** \- BTW, changed your name again.

 **Vince McAsswipe** \- FUCK!

* * *

 **Heath Slater** \- Don't use the bottle on me, I know who to use it on.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Fine, who?

 **Heath Slater** \- Wait til Extreme Rules.

* * *

 **Jinder Mahal** has posted a photo.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- WORLD CHAMPION BITCHES.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- MOTHERFUCK HE ACTUALLY DID IT!

 **Heath Slater** \- KEEP THAT BOTTLE HANDY DON'T HIT ME.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- I saw your status BTW, please make good use of it.

* * *

 **Samoa Joe** has posted a photo.

 **Samoa Joe** \- NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FTW.

 _(Finn Balor, Kevin Owens, and a shit ton of people like this)_

 **Jinder Mahal** \- You put it to good use.

 **Vince McAssface** \- WHAT! I FELT SOMETHING ON MY HEAD WHILE LOOKING AT ROMAN PICTURES AND NEXT THING, SAMOA JOE IS STANDING TALL OVER MY SUCCULENT SAMOAN SEX MACHINE!

 **Sasha Banks** \- Once again, TMI.

 **Asuka** \- Hey Vincey, your name.

 **Vince McAssface** \- HOW DID YOU GET IN THIS TIME?!

 **Asuka** \- Your passwords are so easy to guess.

 **Vince McAssface** \- REALLY?!

 **Asuka** \- This time, it was RoMahon.

 **Vince McAssface** \- DAMMIT ASUKA!


	9. Asuka's Fifteen Bitches

**Nick Miller** \- Hey Finn?

 **Finn Balor** \- Yes?

 **Nick Miller** \- What would you say if I stole Asuka's facepaint?

 **Finn Balor** \- You didn't.

 **Nick Miller** \- And hid it in your bag.

 **Finn Balor** \- Tell me you're lying.

 **Nick Miller** \- And told Asuka you took it.

 **Finn Balor** \- …

 **Shane Thorne** \- I guess we'll bury you next to Itami.

 **Hideo Itami** \- Here lies Finn Balor, he got murdered by a raging woman.

 **Asuka** \- Actually, replace Finn with Nick.

 **Nick Miller** \- Why?

 **Asuka** \- I know you took my facepaint, and I'll give you five seconds to run.

 **Nick Miller** \- That's the most mercy you've given anyone.

 **Asuka** \- Time's up, run bitch.

* * *

 _Asuka poked Nick Miller_

 _ **Nick Miller has changed his name to "Asuka's second bitch"**_

 **Asuka's Second Bitch** \- Why am I the second one?

 **Asuka** \- I already have one.

 **Asuka's Second Bitch** \- Who?

 **Asuka's Bitch** \- DAMMIT ASUKA! WHY?!

 _Asuka Likes This._

 **Asuka** \- Because I'm Asuka, bitch.

 **Bo Dallas** \- Well, at least it's Nick and not me.

 **Asuka** \- …

* * *

 _Asuka poked Bo Dallas_

 _ **Bo Dallas has changed his name to "Asuka's Third Bitch"**_

 **Asuka's Third Bitch** \- WHY.

 _Asuka Likes This_

 **Asuka** \- Because I'm Asuka. Bitch.

 **Asuka's Third Bitch** \- Mommy…

 **Asuka** \- Now, pardon me while I make more bitches.

* * *

 **Erick Rowan has posted an announcement**

 **Erick Rowan** \- RUN! ASUKA'S ON A RAMPAGE!

 _Asuka Likes This._

* * *

 _Asuka has poked Tommaso Ciampa, Angelo Dawkins, Aiden English, Buddy Murphy, Alexa Bliss, Peyton Royce, Wesley Blake, Andrade Almas, Mojo Rawley, Adam Rose, Ruby Riot, and Charlotte._

 **Asuka's Seventh Bitch** \- Alright, who's who?

 **Asuka's Fifth Bitch** \- I beet u cant gwuess mime.

 **Asuka's Eighth Bitch** \- Angelo.

 **Asuka's Fifth Bitch** \- WHOW DEED U NO?!

 **Asuka's Tenth Bitch** \- Your grammar is as recognizable as a neon sign.

 **Asuka's Twelfth Bitch** \- IMONCOCAINE.

 **Asuka's Fifteenth Bitch** \- Mojo.

 **Asuka's Fourteenth Bitch** \- Well, I'm Ruby.

 **Asuka** \- O_o. I'm watching you.

 **Asuka's Fourteenth Bitch** \- Meep.

* * *

 **Sami Zayn** \- Hey, Hideo, how'd you get out of the shower?

 **Hideo Itami** \- Apparently some superfan got a copy of my hotel room key and was able to let me out.

 **Sami Zayn** \- Oh, so are we good?

 **Hideo Itami** \- I'll be fine.

 **Sami Zayn** \- Thank god.

 **Hideo Itami** \- After I kick your ass.

* * *

 **Bobby Roode** \- Well, at least the Glorious shit stopped.

 **Johnny Gargano** \- GLORIOUS.

 **Asuka's Sixth Bitch** \- Pft, nerd.

 **Johnny Gargano** \- Fuck you asshole, I gave shits about you.

 **Asuka's Sixth Bitch** \- That's what you get for thinking about ditching me.

 **Johnny Gargano** \- I WASN'T GONNA DITCH YOU!

 **Kevin Owens** \- TOMMASO! WELCOME TO THE TRAITOR'S CLUB!

 **Asuka's Sixth Bitch** \- Actually, it's Aiden.

 **Kevin Owens** \- Oh.

 **Asuka** \- O_o

 **Asuka's Sixth Bitch** \- OH GOD HEhkj asdfhn nhiovho ashdghehhhfahlsdgyasxgyiwqyf iyasdgiufgiuasd gfiuasdgiuf guasdg hoqweh;ghqdhg;asdh;ggh;asdgkhsadhg ;qh;gweghoiqweuifu[cafiohcasdhoi fcasdhmfch; ash;df asdh;g hasdh ;gas; hkldfgj' asiofasdpj f gupe[q

 _Asuka Likes This_

 **Asuka** \- The only reason I'm this powerful is because the author loves me.

 **Simon Gotch** \- YOU SIR, HAVE BROjf ajiosj iopgjpoasd joisaup oigseh ipoagh iopsg hsgapoi ohietwqh qwoipe weqthoi ewrhipoq wethoi qhio hoizxchovsjhg h;lwqe;jiqpuxh;livsuafmuqwemrcqu[werucasdnopihy g ;hoish;lgasd;hig h;lkasdgh l;

 **Asuka** \- Eh, I'm bored now, I'm just gonna change everyone back.

* * *

 **Tye Dillinger** \- So, how was Asuka?

 **Mojo Rawley** \- ITWASVERYDIFFICULTBECAUSESHEHITMEWITHBATSANDSTUFF.

 **Baron Corbin** \- Pft, crackhead.

 **Asuka's Bitch** \- WHY DIDNT YOU CHANGE ME BACK ASUKA?!

 **Asuka** \- Because I'm Asuka-

 **Ember Moon** \- Bitch.

 **Asuka** \- O_O.


	10. Russo, Enzo Ego, & Patron's Crusade

**Drew McIntyre has posted a photo.**

 **Drew McIntyre** \- I'M BACK ON TOP BITCHES!

 **Adam Cole** \- Not for long, I'm coming for dat ass.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Ew.

 **Adam Cole** \- FISH STOLE MY PHONE I MEANT TITLE.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Sure you did…

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- I know Tyler Breeze would come for dat ass.

 **Tyler Breeze** \- WHY ARE YOU STARTING THIS UP AGAIN.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- Asuka gave me permission.

 **Tyler Breeze** \- Oh.

* * *

 **Asuka** \- It's been fun, but I'm going to the main roster without my title… #Feels

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- Go to Smackdown, you can break James Ellsworth's arms.

 **James Ellsworth** \- CARMELLA WILL BEAT YOU UP!

 **Carmella** \- Yeah...I'ma pass…

 **James Ellsworth** \- But…

 **Carmella** \- I don't want to be Mr. Kennedyed.

 **James Ellsworth** \- ILL FIGHT HER FOR YOU.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- Dude, it's suicide.

 **James Ellsworth** \- I CAN DO IT! IHO H:O HO NH OH U GIU GUIG UIG UIL GUG UIA HF::GAGFAGU:SF GASKJF GAS:FG A:SF G:ASKFG AUS: FGA:KSF :AS GF

 **Carmella** \- …

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- …

 **Asuka** \- You were saying?

* * *

 **Finn Balor** \- So Eric, how's it being NXT Tag Champion?

 **Eric Young** \- It FeElS PrEtTy FrIcKeN gOoD.

 **Finn Balor** \- Your typing isn't much better…

* * *

 **Vince Russo** \- Hey, did you know if you like Finn Balor, you're gay?

 **Finn Balor** \- Hey, did you know if your name is Vince Russo, you killed WCW?

 **Vince Russo** \- At least I'm not McMahon bro.

 **Vince McSmelly** \- Asshat.

 **Vince Russo** \- Have fun being Asuka's bitch.

 **Asuka -** …

 **Vince Russo has changed his name to Lil Bitch**

 **Lil Bitch** \- WHY.

 **Asuka** \- Because I'm Asuka. Lil Bitch.

* * *

 **Enzo Amore** \- EYYYY WHY EVERYONE HATIN?

 **Neville** \- It's because you're literally the worst wrestler on 205 live and have an ego the size of Jupiter.

 **Enzo Amore** \- Don't matter, I still am getting a title shot!

 **Neville** \- VIA FUCKING ROLLUP. AT LEAST CEDRIC BECAME A BADASS.

 **Cedric Alexander** \- THANK YOU NEVILLE.

 **Neville** \- Peasant.

 **Big Cass** \- Well...I think I made a good choice booting the weasel.

* * *

 **Kevin Owens** \- I AM SUING SHANE.

 **Sami Zayn** \- Are you quitting?

 **Kevin Owens -** I don't know, maybe?

 **Alberto El Patron** \- YES! JOIN ME IN THE CRUSADE.

 **Kevin Owens -** Where?

 **Alberto El Patron** \- THE WORLD FAMOUS GFW!

* * *

 **Alberto El Patron** \- Hey, why isn't anyone responding?

 **Sami Zayn** \- I was laughing on the floor.

 **Kevin Owens** \- Same here!

 **Alberto El Patron** \- Keep working for big bird if you want, I'll be winning titles!

 **Tye Dillinger** \- Keep working for GFW and you'll get suspended over something with Paige.

 **Paige** \- WHY ME?

 **Asuka** \- Because he trusts Alberto as far as I can throw a cat.

 **Alberto El Patron** \- So pretty far?

 **Asuka** \- No, I don't throw cats.

 **Alberto El Patron** \- Me and Paige are very happy thank you very much…

* * *

 **BREAKING: ALBERTO EL PATRON SUSPENDED OVER DISPUTE WITH PAIGE.**

 **Tye Dillinger** \- Fucking called it.

* * *

 **If you don't know what Kennedyed means, it refers to when Kennedy had to lose his MITB to Edge due to injury.**

 **And yeah, I found out I hated Patron more than Reigns.**


	11. RAW IS ASUKA, Bate vs Enzo, and DOA

**Asuka has posted a photo**

 **Asuka** \- GUESS WHO'S COMING TO RAW BITCHES?!

 _The whole world likes this_

 **Sasha Banks** \- Well, we're screwed.

 **Alexa Bliss** \- Very screwed.

 **Nia Jax** \- Like, apocalypse screwed.

 **Emma** \- End of the world screwed.

 **Dana Brooke** \- Bringing a knife to a gunfight against 100 people screwed.

 **Asuka** \- Basically, you're all fucked.

* * *

 **Enzo Amore** \- STILL COMING FOR YOU NEVILLE.

 **Neville** \- You may be coming for me…

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- But no longer on Liv Morgan.

 **Enzo Amore** \- Eh, she's losing out.

 **Neville** \- Actually, she's might be getting with Tyler Bate.

 **Enzo Amore** \- REALLY?!

 **Tyler Bate** \- No. No he's not.

 **Liv Morgan** \- He's got better hair and a lovely mustache.

 **Enzo Amore** \- BUT I GOT CHARISMA!

 **Tyler Bate** \- And I got actual skill, unlike you.

 **Enzo Amore** \- At least I didn't lose to Pete Dunne!

 **Tyler Bate** \- At least I didn't get kicked off a bus.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- O_O

 **Finn Balor** \- BURN MUDDAFUCKA! BURNNNN!

 **Roman Reigns** \- You did good Bate.

 **Tyler Bate** \- For once, thanks.

* * *

 **Kevin Owens** \- Me and Shane...get ready to die.

 **Sami Zayn** \- Dude, you're not firing me.

 **Kevin Owens** \- Just watch.

 **Sami Zayn** \- Nor are you having English sing.

 **Aiden English** \- Pfft, thou art just jealous.

 **Tye Dillinger** \- I actually had to listen to JILLIAN sing to remove the torture. FUCKING JILLIAN.

 **Big Cass** \- Hey, remember when I beat Aiden in a singing contest?

 **Aiden English** \- Don't remind me.

 **Carmella** \- Who knew Cass had a hell of a voice.

 **Kevin Owens** \- CAN WE TALK ABOUT ME GOD DAMMIT. THIS IS MY POST.

 **Asuka** \- No.

* * *

 **Roman Reigns** \- I've just noticed no one's been roasting me.

 **Finn Balor** \- Eh, turns out there's bigger assholes to roast.

 **Roman Reigns** \- Enzo and Patron?

 **Finn Balor** \- Maybe Sexy Star, Elias, and Mike Bennett.

 **Mike Bennett** \- WHY ME?

 **Bobby Roode** \- Because your gimmick isn't GLORIOUS.

 **Mike Bennett** \- ?

 **Sami Zayn** \- Your gimmick was dead on arrival and not even a month in WWE and you're already a jobber.

* * *

 **Kairi Sane** \- I WON THE MAE YOUNG CLASSIC!

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- Congrats!

 **Asuka** \- YOU GO GIRL!

 **Hideo Itami** \- JAPAN FTW!

 **Simon Gotch** \- MAKE ME A O IHAFHOUOGAD G:OH"OAGH AG:SGF AG K:SF GU:YASUTCTN

 **Kairi Sane** \- I did that.

 **Asuka** \- *Sniffles* I'm so proud.


	12. Brock Bashing, More God-Suka, and Aliens

**Enzo Amore** \- I GOT THE GOLD, THE GLORY, AND THE GIRLS!

 **Neville** \- So by girls, you mean hookers?

 **Enzo Amore** \- Pft, hater, I do what TJP does when I got a hater.

 **TJP -** DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.

 **Enzo Amore** \- *Dab*

 **Neville** \- GOD FUCKING DAMMIT NOW I GOTTA KILL JAKE PAUL.

* * *

 **Paul Heyman posted a photo**

 **Paul Heyman** \- THIS IS THE GREATEST WORLD CHAMPION OF ALL TIME!

 _Brock Lesnar likes this._

 **Finn Balor** \- This is the laziest world champion of all time.

 _Kevin Owens and 50 others like this._

 **Sami Zayn** \- This is the most useless world champion of all time.

 _Shinsuke Nakamura and 62 others like this._

 **Brock Lesnar** \- You wanna fight?

 **Asuka** \- I do, and put the title on the line.

 **Brock Lesnar** \- Sure, Paul, back me up here.

 **Paul Heyman** \- HHINOANOYPYBO PA YOGYOYOWQYOETYOHUg ubps gyug yqewg asuodpg upoqegupo fqwguofguqwgu;qegusafsdbkjvb

 **Brock Lesnar** \- …

 **Asuka** \- My place, 10 p.m. be there or be square.

 **Brock Lesnar** \- PAULLLL...

 **Vince McMahon** \- Asuka, you fucked up.

 **Dean Ambrose** \- More like the other way around.

* * *

 **Asuka posted a photo**

 **Asuka** \- NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION AND NEW FEMALE WORLD CHAMPION.

 _The whole fucking universe including aliens like this._

 **Vince McMahon** \- HOW'D SHE WIN?

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- All she did was grab his arm and he tapped out.

 **Vince McMahon** \- REALLY?!

 **Asuka** \- Yes.

 **Vince McMahon** \- DOESN'T COUNT, BROCK IS STILL CHAMPION.

 _9,000,000,000,000 dislike this._

 **Vince McCockFace** \- I'm not what I'm not more concerned about, the fact that a lot of people hate this or apparently aliens also hate this.

 **Asuka** \- I discovered aliens...BITCH.

* * *

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- Well, after the promo with Jinder, I'm gonna beat the living piss out of him.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- I DID IT FOR HEAT.

 **Hideo Itami** \- You didn't need to be a racist fuccboi.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- Christ, I did it for heat!

 **Drew McIntyre** \- In all fairness, at least he isn't legit racist.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- THANK YOU.

 **Hideo Itami** \- Hey Asuka, you wanna win another title?

 **Jinder Mahal** \- OH GOD NO!

* * *

 **Asuka posted a photo.**

 **Asuka** \- TWO TIME WORLD CHAMPION AND I HAVEN'T MADE IT ONTO THE MAIN ROSTER YET.

 **The Miz** \- Yeah, because the author loves you.

 **Enzo Amore** \- Hee hee, he's right.

 **Asuka** \- TIME TO WIN MORE TITLES!

 **Enzo Amore** \- Oh no.

* * *

 **Asuka has posted a photo**

 **Asuka** \- It's official, I've won every male singles title on Raw, and I haven't even debuted yet.

 **Enzo Amore** \- DID YOU HAVE TO KICK ME IN THE BALLS AGAIN?

 **Asuka** \- Yes.

 **Enzo Amore** \- DAMMIT I POSSIBLY LOST MY FERTILITY TO YOU.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- Confirmed, Asuka is the one on top.

 **Kassius Ohno** \- Yup.

 **Vince McDickLick** \- ALL THE REIGNS DON'T COUNT.

 **Enzo Amore** \- THANK GOD.

 **Asuka** \- ...Enzo's gonna die now.

 **Enzo Amore** \- Help me…

* * *

 **Enzo Amore sent Liv Morgan a message**

 **Enzo Amore** \- HELP ME!

 **Liv Morgan** \- No.

 **Enzo Amore** \- I'll give you money!

 **Liv Morgan** \- No.

 **Enzo Amore** \- My house!

 **Liv Morgan** \- No.

 **Enzo Amore** \- ANYTHING?!

 **Liv Morgan** \- No.

 **Enzo Amore** \- How about we get back together? You want my 'zo.

 **Liv Morgan** \- Nope, I went UK style.

 **Enzo Amore** \- WITH WHO?

 _Liv Morgan added Tyler Bate to the conversation._

 **Tyler Bate** \- Me. BTW Asuka, end him.

 **Asuka** \- With pleasure.

* * *

 **Enzo Amore** \- SHE KICKED MY DICK OFF.

 _Asuka, Liv Morgan, Tyler Bate, Neville, and 150,000,000 like this._

* * *

 **Vince McDickLick** \- I JUST REALIZED ASUKA CHANGED MY NAME BACK BRIEFLY.


	13. A Very Angry Neville

**Enzo Amore** \- Fuck Ali, fuck Cedric, fuck T.J., fuck Gulak, fuck everyone in this cruiserweight division!

 _Cedric Alexander, Kalisto, and 50 others like this._

 **Enzo Amore** \- Except for you Ariya, you're cool.

 _Ariya Daivari likes this._

 **Kalisto** \- CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION MY FRIENDS!

 _Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali, and 502 others like this._

 **Cedric Alexander** \- Hey, where's Neville, I thought he'd be happy for you.

 **Kalisto** \- I dunno, but I saw him walk out.

 **Vince McSmellBorp** \- WHAT.

* * *

 **Neville** \- Fuck Vince, fuck Enzo, fuck the cruiserweights, fuck the WWE.

 **Triple H** \- Nevs…

 **Finn Balor** \- DON'T LEAVE, WE NEED YOU!

 _Neville has gone offline_

 **Finn Balor** \- Shit.

* * *

 **Roman Reigns** \- Sierra.

 **Dean Ambrose** \- Hotel.

 **Seth Rollins** \- India.

 **Roman Reigns** \- Echo.

 **Dean Ambrose** \- Lima.

 **Seth Rollins** \- Delta.

 **Vince McSmelborp** \- ROMAN REIGNS AND OTHERS.

 **Asuka** \- Yo Vince, wrong saying!

 **Vince McSmelborp** \- CHANGE ME BACK!

 **Asuka** \- Not until you break up with Roman.

* * *

 **Roderick Strong** \- Shitstain.

 **Ruby Riot** \- Hepatitis.

 **Johnny Gargano** \- Ice Cream.

 **Ember Moon** \- Elephant.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- Lima Beans.

 **Tyler Breeze** \- Dildo.

 **Asuka** \- Shield. BTW, I knew Tyler was gay.

 **Tyler Breeze** \- DAMMIT SHINSUKE I'M GONNA SPIKE YOUR DRINK.

* * *

 **Jinder Mahal** \- No idea how I won….

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- TYLERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

 **Tyler Breeze** \- VENGEANCE BISH.

* * *

 **Angelo Dawkins** \- Hello there Finn.

 **Finn Balor** \- HOLY SHIT ANGELO YOU'RE NOT TALKING LIKE AN IDIOT!

 **Montez Ford** \- You can thank me.

 **Angelo Dawkins** \- Indeed, now we are the street profits.

 **Finn Balor** \- HIDEO ANGELO'S NOT A IDIOT NOW!

 **Hideo Itami** \- MOTHER OF GOD!

* * *

 **Sami Zayn posted a photo**

 **Sami Zayn** \- BEST FRIENDS 4 LIFE!

 _Kevin Owens likes this._

 **Becky Lynch** \- WHY SAMI WHY.

 **Charlotte** \- YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!

 **Tye Dillinger** \- IT WAS SAID YOU WOULD DESTROY THE HEELS NOT JOIN THEM!

 **Mojo Rawley** \- BRINGBALANCETOTHEFORCENOTLEAVEITINDARKNESS

 **Sami Zayn** \- 1. That star wars reference, and 2. Mojo's still high I see.

 **Kevin Owens** \- When is he not?

* * *

 **Eva Marie** \- I'm going to 205 live!

 **Neville** \- You've been released you inbred red.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- NOICE!

 **Enzo Amore** \- Ey...she hawt.

 **Neville** \- She's just a walking barbie doll you stupid homeless fucking weasel and I hope you get AIDS.

 **Finn Balor** \- Note to self, don't piss Neville off.


	14. King of the Insults (& Crusierweights)

**Enzo Amore uploaded a photo**

 **Enzo Amore** _\- REALEST CHAMPION IN THE ROOM!_

 _Ariya Daivari, Noam Dar, Drew Gulak, and Tony Nese like this._

 **Neville** \- Fuck you, you goddamn stupid blue dick tipped fucking weasel.

 **Enzo Amore** \- Someone's jealous.

 **Neville** \- Like I'd be jealous of a goddamn walking toilet brush.

 **Ariya Daivari** \- Hey!

 **Neville** \- And I'd of course be jealous of his minions, consisting of a guy who got buried by his own theme song, a guy who kisses his own wrinkly-ass hand, a protester that's basically on the same irritation level as a radicalist, and no emotion muscle cunt.

 **Enzo Amore** \- REALIST CHAMP IN THE ROOM, HOW YOU DOING!

 **Neville** \- Of course you ignore me you stillborn ferret.

 **Becky Lynch** \- Note to self, don't make Neville super angry or he'll say the cruelest shit.

* * *

 **Finn Balor** \- Confirmed, I prefer working with Styles than Bray.

 **A.J. Styles** \- I wonder why, maybe it's because we were former bullet club members.

 **Finn Balor** \- BTW, make a group chat, it's time we invited some friends.

* * *

 _A.J. Styles added Finn Balor, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Adam Cole, Cody Rhodes, Kenny Omega, Tama Tonga, Bad Luck Fale, and Yujiro Takahashi to a group chat._

 **A.J. Styles** \- BULLET CLUB.

 **Cody Rhodes** \- I'm surprised A.J. still likes to chill with us.

 **Adam Cole** \- Yup.

 **A.J. Styles** \- Hey, if anyone else leaves, who should we add to the club? Take your picks.

 **Finn Balor** \- Neville.

 **Cody Rhodes** \- Zack Ryder.

 **Kenny Omega -** Hideo Itami.

 **Tama Tonga -** Kalisto.

 **Bad Luck Fale -** Kassius Ohno.

 **Matt Jackson -** Jey Uso.

 **Nick Jackson -** Basically both Usos.

 **Luke Gallows -** Cesaro.

 **Karl Anderson -** Dolph Ziggler.

 **Yujiro Takahashi -** Drew McIntyre.

 **Adam Cole -** Asuka and really Yujiro?!

 **Yujiro Takahashi -** I don't care.

* * *

 **Elias** \- Well, I'm now in the one name club.

 **Big E** \- Welcome to our club.

 **Rusev** \- Yup, welcome to the club, we got drinks.

 **Konnor** \- Me and Viktor are here as well.

 **Viktor** \- Indeed.

 **Elias** \- Any others?

 **TJP** \- I fucking hate my name.

 **Elias** \- LOL, anyone else?

 **Cesaro** \- I'm one of them.

 **Big Cass** \- I'm not sure if I count.

 **Big E** \- You do.

 **Buddy Murphy** \- Do me and Wesley Blake count?

 **Big E** \- No, get out.

 **Wesley Blake** \- Ok…

 **Neville** \- I'm leaving too.

 **Big E** \- But you still got one name…

 **Neville** \- Fuck off, I don't need you Big Erection.

 **Elias** \- LOL.

 **Neville** \- Or the guy who fucks his own guitar.

 **Elias** \- …

 **Neville** \- Or the Bulgarian Bitch Boy, the devil's favorite jobbers, Dabs McGee, one half of the ass ring club, Big cunt, or anyone else.

 **Rusev** \- Jesus christ.

 **Asuka** \- Pour some holy water on him for god's sake.

 **Neville** \- Bring me Enzo's scrawny ass and we'll talk.

 **Bo Dallas** \- BOLIEVE!

 **Bray Wyatt** \- I'm the eater of worlds!

 **Roman Reigns** \- YOU CAN'T SEE ME.

 **Neville** \- NVM, those three. BTW, Roman you're a fucking retard.

* * *

 **Asuka** \- Guys, Neville just gave those guys something to drink and they got the mumps.

 **Bo Dallas** \- FUCK YOU NEVILLE.

 **Neville** \- No thanks, I don't want to fuck a sixth-grader.

 **Bo Dallas** \- ….


	15. Releases, BC Thoughts, & Goodbye

**Asuka** \- Well then, I've won at TLC and I made Emma leave.

 **Emma** \- Yeah...I know…

 **Asuka** \- You know, this is kinda fun, booting bitches out of the company.

 **Summer Rae** \- Don't tell me what you're going to do.

 **Asuka** \- Well, Vince hired me to kick people out if I stopped changing his name…

 **Darren Young** \- VINCE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

 **Asuka** \- TIME TO BOOT MORE BITCHES!

* * *

 _Asuka poked Summer Rae_

 **Asuka** \- You weren't exactly bad, but not on the level of me. At least you're better than Eva Marie. BUT BYE BITCH!

* * *

 _Asuka poked Darren Young_

 **Asuka** \- Ok, I actually like you Darren, but you've been injured for too long and...BYE BITCH!

* * *

 _Asuka poked Sawyer Fulton_

 **Sawyer Fulton** \- WHY ME?!

 **Asuka** \- Because I'm Asuka, BYE BITCH!

* * *

 _Asuka poked Leo Gao_

 **Leo Gao** \- Ó, shàngdì, wèishéme!

 **Asuka** \- Yīnwèi wǒ shì míngrìxiāng, zàijiàn biǎo zi.

 **Josh Bredl** \- Note to self, never insult Asuka in a different language.

 **Asuka** \- O_o

 **Josh Bredl** \- Oh shit.

* * *

 _Asuka poked Josh Bredl_

 **Josh Bredl** \- Shit…

* * *

 **Jinder Mahal** \- I hate life.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- That's good you racist prick.

 **Jinder Mahal** \- I TOLD YOU IT WAS TO GAIN HEAT.

 **Shinsuke Nakamura** \- Ok...douche.

* * *

 **Charlotte Flair** \- What a night, I won the women's title!

 **Nia Jax** \- And got your ass beat.

 **Charlotte Flair** \- Piss off.

 **James Ellsworth** \- LOL YOU GOT BEAT UP BY A FATTY.

 **Asuka** \- Ok, you're going too.

 **James Ellsworth** \- NO! CARMELLA! HELP!

 **Carmella** \- No, you suck and it's time for you to piss off.

* * *

 _Asuka poked James Ellsworth_

 **Asuka** \- Yeah...I have nothing to say except you're trash.

* * *

 **Cody Rhodes** \- Well then, there's more releases, any possibilities?

 **Adam Cole** \- I mean, there's Emma of course.

 **Tama Tonga** \- Yeah, but Darren Young could be good.

 **Bad Luck Fale** \- Point.

 **Marty Scrull** \- Anyone taking bets on who's next to go?

 **Kenny Omega** \- I'm guessing Goldust will go soon.

 **Matt Jackson** \- R-Truth could leave soon.

 **Nick Jackson** \- Lince Dorado, I don't think we've had a luchadore in the stable.

 **Kenny Omega** \- Ah, good idea, I'll add him to the list.

 **Hangman Page** \- The Colons?

 **Tanga Roa** \- I dunno, maybe, they kinda suck.

 **Chase Owens** \- Mike Kanellis?

 **Kenny Omega** \- It's a possibility, as long as he's willing to share Maria.

 **Marty Scrull** \- Not a chance, they've almost superglued themselves to each other.

 **Kenny Omega** \- Alright, thank you for suggestions.

* * *

 **Roderick Strong** \- Alright, wargames was fun as hell.

 **Andrade Almas** \- I WON THE NXT TITLE.

 **Drew McIntyre** \- THANKS FOR INJURING ME YOU DICK.

 **Ember Moon** \- I won the women's title!

 **Asuka** \- And I decided to give you it because I was bored and wanted to show up.

 **Ember Moon** \- So you stole the spotlight from me?

 **Asuka** \- It worked like a charm.

* * *

 **Asuka** \- I'm the last one standing!

 **Natalya** \- I hate myself.

 **Becky Lynch** \- You shouldn't be crying because I GOT BURIED.

 **Natalya** \- Oh yeah haha.

 **Asuka** \- O_o

 **Natalya** \- NO DON'T FIRE ME!

 **Asuka** \- K.

* * *

 **Well, finally, a new chapter is up and I hate to say that this will be the final chapter, as I lost all passion for this. Hey, this was fun though, and perhaps I can make a 205 Live version due to having a more reasonably sized cast.**

 **BYE!**


End file.
